Polly Ely, LMFT

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Founder of The LAB Method

License #53579


It is often during life’s challenging passages that we most need a guide who is on our side, who can see and illuminate what is strong and resilient in us (even if we can not) and who can usher us on the way to relief, to less suffering, and to greater ease in our lives.

If you are stuck in frustrating relational patterns that seem to repeat themselves and cause you suffering, then let’s look together at what is ready for change in you. Looking together at what is blocked or feels "stuck", we can process and heal wounds from the past and work towards understanding your longings and boundaries for today with more clarity. My explicit hope is that we will hone your skills towards communicating these needs in a way that supports them to be met consistently. The natural outcropping of our work will be easier, more honest relationships, greater trust in yourself to make tough decisions, and increased joy, energy and deeper connections in your life. Let's design and create a self-chosen life path which will be marked by an ability to both listen and respond to your own inner directives rather than defensively react to the circumstances surrounding you.



Areas of Specialization:

Families: I like to imagine myself a warrior fiercely standing guard of each family that I have the privilege to work with. I believe firmly that if more families had a clear minded, caring and protective "other" who is willing to take a stand for each family member's innate strengths, guide them all in slowing down and help them to know themselves as a unit of separate yet connected people where differences and needs can be expressed AND honored,  then many more families would be able to weather the stormy early years and come out on the other side of raising young people, proud and preserved.

Parent Coaching & Consultation Building secure attachments with our children today means they will be primed to become secure young adults, and responsive healthy partners and friends one day. Polly's Parent Labs create an interactive vibrant forum to get practical parenting tools & language that help immediate life with your kids become more fluid and easeful. Polly teaches parents how to be leaders to their children without threats, attacks, major ruptures and shaming. In her Parent LABs  you gather tools to help you feel proud of your connection with your child and to experience your connection to your children in a deepened and renewed way.

AEDP for Couples:  As an affirming guide, we work together to uncover what non-conscious patterns of relating are blocking intimacy and connection for you. We focus on building the attuned, responsive capacities of each partner. Through an emotionally focused moment-to-moment tracking of a couple’s interactions, I guide your partnership towards developing a secure base, so that each partner can safely incorporate a more aware, loving and compassionate self into your couple life at home.

AEDP for Individuals:  AEDP is an healing-oriented treatment modality that is non-pathologizing.

AEDP operates from a baseline of trust that every person is innately wired with the emotional health required for a joyful life already built into them. When we feel safe, we let down defensive barriers and when those barriers are down, our innate ability to grow and expand also helps us heal.

The aim of AEDP is to release these innate healing tendencies, to follow the positive markers that identify naturally occurring adaptive changes and to harness their potential for healing, all in the context of the therapeutic relationship.

"As a family, we often meet with Polly out in nature. We learn to communicate honestly and directly in a very natural and even play-filled way. My kids LOVE going to family therapy because Polly shows us how learning to relate and communicate our needs to each other is actually fun and rewarding."

Claire, Mother of 3, San Francisco 

"Working with Polly Ely has changed the course of my family's life and mine as an individual in countless ways. Through her guidance, in my new moments of awareness, which I am having more and more, I feel how positively she has affected how I live my life, how I feel about myself and how I respond to challenging moments.

Jennifer, Mill Valley